it really is all Greek to me

Year of the cat

There are two problems with Greece – I can’t understand a word of the language (it really is all Greek to me) and Greek drivers are mad. Hence I’ve invented two new Greek words to get me through the two weeks:
• YADSSIMO: This describes the fact that every Greek speeds (the Taxi driver in Athens happily continued along the freeway at 120 km/h, completely ignoring both the 70 km/h speed sign and the speed camera warning sign) and cannot understand why anyone else wouldn’t, hence instantly decide that “You are Driving Slowly So I must Overtake” at the slightest hint of adherence to the posted speeds. This explains why the national highway in Crete has a 3m wide sealed shoulder, because every Cretan will impulsively overtake slow vehicles, regardless of oncoming traffic, blind corners, double lines or the fact that their mate is doing exactly the same on the opposite side of the road (surprisingly Helen was uncomfortable with 4 cars straddling a standard one lane/ two-way road at 80 km/h). I spent 2 days travelling 6m from the centreline (it was easy to pick the tourists doing the same), resigned to the fact that I would be overtaken.
• MyHAMTPA: the roads on the Greek Islands are impossibly narrow, to the point that even small towns become gridlocked in the town centre (it took us about half an hour to travel about 1 km in Rethymno, population of 85,000). But worse is that everyone lives in apartments with no parking, so drivers park anywhere including on corners, across pedestrian crossings, on the wrong side of the road and in no parking zones – and if all those spots are full they resort to parking in the through traffic lane, assuming that “My Hazards (lights) Allow Me To Park Anywhere”. This of course just makes the traffic worse, because everyone must drive at 20km/h just to pass (by a 100mm or so) oncoming traffic.

So, we had every intention of visiting another of Crete’s famous beaches (Malaka), but Helen was too stressed by yesterday’s 500km adventure. Instead we lay on Frank’s sun beds out the front of our apartment (but skipped the pool that looked a little green), ordered the 6 Euro full English breakfast and …. relaxed.

Frank's beach out the front of our apartment was quite good

Pity the view from Franks the other way is not so grand

That gave the Dutch courage to risk the 20km drive to Agia Pelagia, which was worth the steeeeeep drive down the hill to a pretty bay ringed with hills and Taverna’s on the (sandy albeit sun lounge covered) beach. The shops and Taverna’s were reasonably priced, the water clear and snorkelling interesting because of the rocks and plentiful fish. Would be a good place to stay as we considered, but you would need a car (which I originally didn’t book).

Agia Pelagia

Life's a beach

Our flight to Athens beckoned, but the road horrors were not quite done yet. This is because it appears that the Greek austerity measures mean that they can afford only 3 traffic lights at each intersection, which means that you can see only see one traffic light (compared to the luxurious Australian standards that insist that 3 lights must be visible at all times), which became zero when I decided not to run the orange light (so stopped past the only visible pole). So, at the main intersection into the Heraklion international airport, Helen politely asked the motorbike rider who decided to share our left turn lane to please inform us when the light turned green, as I could NO lights at all. I’m proud to say that we ditched the hire car without any additional scratches or dings, so escaped the Greek driving adventure unscathed (except for the frayed nerves). Just don’t drive.

Agia Pelagia

So, they say: the hire car guy informed me that “scratches like those are OK”, reinforcing that Greek drivers are mad and every car in Greece ends up with scratches. Of course, we witnessed a prang in Heraklion when a tourist slowed, not sure if the lights were green, while the truck behind assumed that all drivers will naturally speed through red lights – nothing serious, just a shorter (is that possible?) smart car.
Walk a Mile...: more driving so only 6487 steps

Mending

The fort at Heraklion